How can I hurt myself on a boat?
Updated: May 15
I can help you with that! Here I will focus on ways of hurting yourself while sailing on a yacht in the Adriatic.
10 ways to get hurt on a boat:
1. The best and most common way is to slip from a gangway (pasarela). That is the piece of wood used to get on and off your boat. During the years we have had several bruises, one dislocated shoulder, one broken bone and one very wet notebook. It is a fun fact that the victims were all youngish people. Young people love to move fast. They think that they are invulnerable if drunk. They don't care about the "next day them". So, if you don't want to slip from the gangway, you won't! If you really want to hurt yourself while falling, then try to grab onto something. Anything that is attached to the boat. Ropes are good for swinging and hitting yourself some more. Grab the hand of your friend so you don't fly alone.
On the other hand, if only the falling is enough for you, then as soon as you lose balance turn it into a jump in the sea. That way you are aiming and controlling the fall. And you can pretend that all that was just for show!
2. Break your leg while docking the boat. If you don't want your husband to look like an amateur while docking, you can use your leg as a fender. At the last second, before your boat hits another boat or the dock, introduce your leg to the situation and try to stop a 15 metric ton boat with your bones. Using your hand would provide similar results. If that is not your thing, untie a fender that is not needed at that moment and use it instead. Keep in mind that if you make a scratch on one of our boats, we will charge you only for the material. Usually it is pizza money.
We haven't had such injuries on our boats yet, but I saw some spectacular attempts.
3. Make a long swim in the middle of a high traffic area and wait for a speedboat to run you over. A speedboat can be dangerous. It can run you over and hurt you with propellers. If you change your mind in the last moment, dive deep and fast.
There are few rules that speedboats obey. They are not allowed to go fast (planning on water) if closer than 300m (984 feet) from the shore. In high traffic areas and close to popular beaches you will find connected buoys that mark the border of the swimming area. Again, there were some cases in the history of the world, but it is not so easy to get run over by a speedboat.
Can a sailing boat run me over? One interesting thing is that a sailing boat can't hurt a swimmer. I did an experiment many times in which I jumped from the bow of the sailing boat running on the engine full speed. I tried to jump right in front of the boat, turn towards the boat and wait for it to hit me. At the last second the wave that the boat makes in front of it will push you aside. Something about hydrodynamics, buoyancy, and displacement. And yes, you can try this at home.
4. Jumping into the sea from a high altitude. Even if you are a pro, this is a good way to break your spine. When you are on a high cliff it looks like it is all in your head, and that there is no real danger because the water is soft. You are wrong. Because of the water surface tension and some other boring physical properties of water, at some point hitting it is like hitting a side-walk. There are a few things you can do to make is safer, but there is no chance I will tell you which.
5. Playing with the Greater weever. Almost impossible to find in shallow waters, this little fish has few poisonous spikes on its back. If you somehow manage to catch this fish and grab it with your hand, you can get stung and poisoned. It won't do any damage to you, but it will hurt. If you want to stop the hurting immerse your hand in warm water. The warmer the better. After one hour the pain is gone. There are some allergic reactions in some rare cases so you can visit a doctor if you are suspicious. But... generally, you are ok. And again you have a better chance to be attacked by a crocodile in your hot tub.
6. Fall asleep under the sun. A great way to ruin two days of your vacation. Sunburns or dehydration are not rare. But it is not a fun way to get damaged so I wouldn't suggest it. Not a cool story to tell when you come back home.
7. Party all night long and try to sleep during the day. In summer it gets hot. Up to 35C (95F). Sleeping in a cabin in a boat under the sun can drive you crazy. If you wouldn't like that, you have 2 options... Run the A/C, but then you need the annoying generator to run all the time or you need to be in a marina on shore power. And... you are suffering a little bit of A/C dry air. The second option, my option, is to get drunk in the middle of the day, so you are done by bedtime!
8. Try to land a Dalmatian girl. You are a nice guy and you want to meet a local girl. Don't! They are really good looking, but in the Dalmatian culture we still don't have that open "let's have fun" attitude. It is more like "when are we getting married?" You will just get hurt. But sure, you can try... What I am saying is that there are a lot of open-minded tourists walking around, and time is precious.
9. And those are the 10 ways you can get hurt while sailing a yacht in the Adriatic. :-) Sorry, can't think of more.
Croatian health system for foreigners.
If you get injured or sick and you have to go to an ER or hospital, you will most likely be pleasantly surprised by well-organized and competent doctors and nurses. Plus, normal-looking infirmaries. What will surprise you the most is the bill at the end. For a day in a hospital, some IV and some minor treatment (dehydration for example) our guest was charged with 50$. Her international insurance was covering that but she didn't want to be bothered with filling the form, it was easier to pay.
Our dear guest David Whelan from RSA slipped when walking along the promenade in Maslinica and injured his head. 7 stitches and some medicine for only 29,99$! He said that he would damage his head some more if he knew that it was so cheap here.
Every inhabited island has a doctor available 24/7. There is also a complimentary military helicopter that will take you to a bigger hospital if needed.
So come to Croatia and break some bones!!!